On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
