we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
