Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
