how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
