I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
