My first STD was from a foam party
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
