OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
