loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
