I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
