He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
