I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
