I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
how drunk are you?
Several
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
