apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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