does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She even gives head with a lisp.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
