Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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