I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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