party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
