He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
