her facebook's as public as her vagina
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
