I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
