Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
