I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
