I smell stomach acid.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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