"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
