I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
