Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
