That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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