I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
