You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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