I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
