There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When are your genitals available?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
