I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He did a backflip because drugs
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