I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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