I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is my gift to your gina
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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