you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
