Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
