You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dear god my vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
