He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
