HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
