How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
