Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
