lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
