I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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