Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
