I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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