suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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