are you still at the devil's house?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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