So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
