That's intense
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
