how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
