I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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