I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
