I puked a lego.
smell my finger.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
