mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it glows. i had to have it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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